LamBAtells:Fineboy Agbero Ep1 [Oya now!!!]

Oya Now!

7:36am
Iya Sidikat poured me two shots of paraga and I quickly downed the drink. The hot liquor sped down my throat, hit my chest with the force of ten thousand thunderbolts and restored heat into my harmattan-beaten body. I exhaled with a long “Aahhhhhhhhhhhh.”
“Fara bale, bobo yi. Cool down!” Rashidi admonished.
I slapped my chest vigorously and thrust the cup into the woman’s face. She looked at me like I don kolo, but my eyes were so red and hard that she quickly poured me two extra shots.
Closing my eyes, I swallowed the drink. Tiny veins in my brain imploded. My closed-eye vision turned red, then purple. My chest smarted. I screamed.
Rashidi bellowed with laughter. “Alagbara!”
I shook my head, saying nothing as I regained composure. Blood go flow like water dis morning. One bastard was gbemu-ing to me. One bastard conductor. Oloshi! He refused to pay my shandy yesterday bicos him carry one yeye staff. Today na today!

8.35am
Shagaya ran to me at the bus stop and collapsed on the floor. He was holding his left eye and his hands were covered in blood. Rashidi and I left the driver we were harassing and ran to Shagaya.
“Wetin happen?”
“Kilo sele?”
I lifted Shagaya to his feet and through his uncovered eye he looked at me. The words spattered out of his mouth like Baba Odeku’s battered danfo engine.
“It’s… it’s….”
“Talk! Abi you dey craze?”
“Haruna!”
“Ehn? Wetin Haruna do again?”
He narrated the sorry tale of how Haruna had beaten him up over a plate of ewa-aganyin.

LamBAtells: BOOZE 101 - The 86 Rules of Boozing

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot. 

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 

4. Change your toast at least once a month. 

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. 

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. 

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile. 

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink. 

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up. 

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong. 

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. 

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

LamBAtells:Introspective LamBA

AS PUBLISHED ON ALARIWO.ORG 
     

   

Taji!
I am on the floor, I rub my eyes; look around; am in Femi’s apartment; I look beside me; someone is there; he stirs awake; shit! It’s me; I stagger back as I watch myself stand and start to walk backwards out of the room; the time is 8:23am.
Suddenly everything is spinning, am in the car with some dudes and the car is moving backwards on third Mainland Bridge; nobody notices that there’s two of me in the car; I don’t even notice me.

*Spin* Stop!

We are at a club; Movida I think; I’m holding a girl; the other me though; she’s wearing black; there’s a zip on it because the other me zips it up; I can barely hear myself; but am smiling and typing into her phone, I check; I had asked her what flavor her lipstick was; she had written blackberry; must be why I’m typing; the music is very loud; I start kissing her; wow! I kiss good though; she pulls away; I’m backing her; her friend is telling me something; then walks backwards into the toilet.
I’m walking backwards downstairs; there’s a big dude with a girl standing; I’m walking backwards and grabbing the babe’s bum;  
*Spin* Stop!

GLOW IN THE DARK party @ CLUB JONZING 28/12/11

Venue:Club Jonzing, Younis Bashorun, off Ajose Adeogun, V.I, Lagos

Time: 10pm till dawn

LamBAtells:ONE OF THEM NIGHTS

 From our famous friends

@  http://www.styljunki.blog.com/

                  

This is the second time I have been in boot cut jeans in a very long time, so understandably I am offended. I shall not answer you if you ask me how I ended up in them.
I won’t be caught dead or alive without a good shirt, you can be sure about that part.
Any way the first boot cut incident was last Friday night, one of those nights that lure a brother into Rehab. A brother and all his friends, I’m talking Ty,Lloyd,Robin and the Lamba’s. We had female company .I never recall their names, and I never recognize them in the morning. The drinks we had on our table were not for the light headed and the DJ at rehab is the best in the world.

LamBAtells:RANDOM FROM THAT YEAR

Date:8/05/10
Time 1:57am
Me and my brothers are at a high-life/live-band bar because been a while we took it local.....lol
its cos we've got limited money and we are without a car,and to think i have defense and a test this morning.......am crazy init.....
To the beginning of it all..

8:30pm
Was outside cafe,chatting to my new friend,Mercy....she's fun to talk to,plus she digs me...*CHUCKLE*
9:30pm
Front of her hostel,we was chased away by a G.A and she called me and started a lecture on doing the right thing at the right time...blah,blah.....while she was talking,i got the clarion call which i couldn't pick,15 minutes later and i set out to look for my caller.

10:00pm
On my way outta school with Ak, @doublewealth,@idamjr,timi,Baba,@monski,Pere....Where to i asked,Maltina they said.We got there and they were playing Ras Kimono,Majek Fashek......who does that...at a bar...Btw my phone got stolen and was retrieved....praise Jah....

Here's Ras Kimono if you dont know him,he was quite popular in the early '90s

LamBAtells:Me, My boys and Ketchup

 From our fam

@ www.styljunki.blog.com

Alcohol has been around for a while now; it’s prolly been around since the inception of food lol.I like to believe those men that lived in the caves got high on something.
Anyways me and my boys are having what most people like to call a guys night out, we sent the girls home early so we can discuss business. We parked cars and bikes outside, call them automobiles.
I say hello to the bouncer, I hug the bartender (we are friends), I proceed to speak with the manager. I heard there are new restrictions in place; I make him know how I feel about them. He will be implementing the changes that I recommended.
I was gonna have my usual , but these days I’m trying new stuff, that’s prolly why I’m dressed in a traditional outfit and slippers. Robin on the other hand would not loose his small ponies unless his life....

LamBAtells:K.U.I

I blink, twice.I am alive.
I Check my watch first 4:45am, then my phone 5:45am. I am still drowsy.Well, so you know how it feels when you wake up after that last night's kush? No?
Ok, I'll tell you.I woke feeling light headed, my steps still floating,by that morning I had decided that the shit i took should be called 'SKY WALKER'.
So still feeling all woozy,I have my bath...church beckons. I rip open this new Cyan colored shirt i just acquired, picked up a pair of black pants from @padelamba, put on my brown Generra tasseled loafers

sprayed my Euphoria by Ck perfume,

dabbed a black NEXT sweater of my shoulders...mmmmmmhhhh i felt good, i smelt good..hell, I looked good. I was still High.

Then in church i am standing,seats is getting filled up and this fine girl that i had been seeing for two days straight walks into my row and drops her bag and Bible near me and I spoke:

LamBAtells:#66

 AS WRITTEN BY

TYLLR of styljunki

Me and my boy , Friday night, or Saturday morning, at this moment I’m not really sure, (I lost my fossil). Anyways, we are at my favorite spot in the whole of lasgidi(maybe even the country).

We didn’t come in a Range ‘cos our Parents are not politicians and we don’t work with Mobil (at least not yet), but our ride is pretty decent. These chicks parked a pretty decent whip too.

Converse, classic black and white ‘cos I don’t wear plimsoles . I fold my Francomb, ‘cos I don’t want ash dropping on my sleeves. My friend prefers Polo’s (small pony’s though). Pablos is empty, except for two young men and four young girls and the people that work there.

Tall, slim and Pretty. They have heels, clutch purses and little black dresses, those ones that go off as soon as you pull one zipper. They are dancing like the girls I see on the music channel, for some reason I think they wish they had a pole.

These days I favor Smirnoff, Smirnoff black, I don’t really care about the cranberry or the ice. However all three are present on the table. I’m sipping slowly; I’m enjoying the show (the one the TV girls are putting up). My boy and I discuss economic relevance, ‘cos that’s all we care about.

The girls do tricks, for some reason I keep mixing up their names, by now the bottle is half gone, and the consequences are evident. We eventually leave, we are happy of course and then we come back the following week and do it again. Only this time the girls are different.

where to buy?

PABLOS LIQUORS
#66 Awolowo road,Ikoyi,Lagos Nigeria

V.I.Peek:D'BANJ - I DO DIS

Don Jazzy shows us he's still d best and D'banj is workin hard on his new album...sheer class..I can't wait or this album...its very endowed

DOWNLOAD D'banj - I do dis

NOWplayIN:POPE - OWO,KUDI,EGO

Pope da hitman shows exactly why M.I named him amongst his fav rappers...Spellz on d beat on dis one...pope talks d international language:MONEY....
Sure to hit d mainsatream soon...u gotta love dis guy Cc Nothin on u(refix) ft shaydee



DOWNLOAD Pope - Owo kudi Ego

PAST WEEKS.....Death,Hapiness,brokade

*Dagrins chuckle*
Its bin weeks since i last posted anything,in that time till now alot has hapned.
From goin for BLINKS fotoshoot as a model to becoming a Photograher in the same day, to the accident of my beloved DAGRIN(DApo Got Rhymes INside) and his eventual death,to the rumours of Terry G's death,to me being very broke,road trip to BADAGRY,to me being the DJ at PABLOS lIQUORS,to making new friends......

DAGRIN....OLAONIPEKUN OLAITAN OLADAPO
Died on thur 22nd of April due to complication of injuries he had in his fatal accident..his initial survival,a mystery...his death,a national calamity.
His death aroused many questions.....was he drunk driving?was the medical attention not enuff?was it as a result of internal bleeding?did he kno he was goin to die?was he involved in the occult?Cause of death? internal bleeding, collapse of vital organs, loss of blood, lack of adequate medical facilities , no xray, no ct scan, no bcg machine, lack of enough information from his CABAL. May be more equipped hospital would have taken over or they tell us may be we will suggest Ghana or Europe. now every thing is MAY BE
I never got a chance to meet him but i had a chance to watch him perform efimile along side YQ...he wud be missed by all his fans.....there can neva be another dagrin



BLINK by BLINKS
The newest,freshest ish rite now....introducing blinks xclusives.....tees for u by us...blinks,real names Dekunle Aina comes wit fresh ideas and formidable designs that wud haunt u in ur dreams...xcept u get one of his shirts...(full profile soon)
His proposed fotoshoot took place on 17th of april and here we are....from the early morning rain to waitin at 'on the run' outlet in maryland,to going to mende to look for some dude,to forgeting camera batteries at home,to me become photograher,to me been very hungry....and eventually gettin annoyed
PICTURES TAKEN WITH A NIKON D40X CAMERA





PABLOS LIQUORS
Last weekend,i decided to go home after such a long time....and asked my brother PADE to come pick me up,he came with a space bus....next tin i knew was him sayin stuffs abt whispering palms and we should go that there were alotta girls there,blah blah blah...mmmmmhhhhh next tin was we were on our way...we got lost..some okada guy misled us....we kept on askin for directions....it became a road trip...we found our way....meet Dimitiar,the romanian who boasted that he had slept wit a dozen nigerian girls.....we had fun sha...
Later went to the island with my friends...ARE,PEPRO,OPE...Awolowo,Ikoyi to be precise...did 160km/h on third mainland bridge...was at our normal spot...pablos liquors that is...shepe was in the system....went over to the DJ...sed some things i cant quite remember and the next tin i knew i was on the wheels of steel and the customers and owner alike were all screamin and askin me for my name and number....oh,what a moment of triumph......DJ LamBA....

BROKADE
So broke i had to call five of my brothers to send me credit and they came thru....shout shout to FISHON,BALO.P,LEKE,TOFA,ABAYOMI.....y'all did good
If there is nybody that still wants to help me....08079518763...any amount would be appreciated.....