March 26, 2013

LamBAtells: In Love Again

#np Mr Eazi x Klu - Ohemaa

I set out to be an 'ashewo' around May last year after some matters of the heart (see here). Aspiring Ashewo I called myself, as I was learning the trade.
Now don't get me wrong about the 'ashewo' work here...there are two types of ashewo: ashewo wey dey collect money for services rendered and ashewo wey just dey on a nacking spree.
I was aiming for the latter.
Now I didn't have all the essential tools needed: extra throway cash, a fast car, a fixed tab at some bar etc but I did have some other essentials like: my face, worked at a bank that year and a BB.
Bingo! Finish! I mean I am in my sexual prime so now is the time.
As I was basically learning on my own I quickly realized that the BB and face were rather important. So I started to hawk myself...I would encourage female friends to go on and put on my picture as their dp(massive shouts to instagram), with a status that read 'For sale'. It works
Twitter is a great place too! Oh twitter.
Pins came in, chats started, some got deleted, weekends came, people came(pun intended)
Business was booming!! I mean I was amazed at what I had accomplished by November. Put in two older ladies in your calculations.
On one of my escapades, I learnt never leave your phone with a 'client'. It could be disastrous. One girl I was with had taken my phone and had taken a picture of us and used it as my dp. I didn't discover until about 2hours later.
ADVICE: if you are out there and you are an aspiring ashewo, I'll give you an assignment that would go a long way in your career. Do you know the difference between a panty liner and sanitary pad? Stop jonzjng o

November; I took a picture with the Mukiki Foundation brothers, splashed some instagram on it and Voila!!!! Hotness.

Weeks after I got two pings

Adelasoye: guy you want one babe pin?
LamBA: which babe?
(months earlier he had hawked me to some girl who in turn hawked me to another girl(great ending))
Adelasoye: you want abi you no want?
LamBA: Oya

He sent the pin and her name.
Another friend pinged me,

Sensei: Them dey ask for your pin o?
LamBA: who be that one again?
Sensei: Na one babe, she say she see your picture for Adelasoye dp but im no wan give her
LamBA:ehen..oya give am
Sensei: no make I give you her pin. You know say babes like to dey style.

I added them and Movement.
Months after, I think I might have fallen for the babe Adelasoye gave me her pin.
Just like that my career as an aspiring ashewo came to an abrupt halt or maybe pause.
*sigh* maybe il be back soon

Meanwhile, I like to think I'm working on a book that would be titled 'Aspiring Ashewo'


  1. A A boy.. now the prey is d hunter, trade wld get on soon...#nice

  2. Looool. Hilarious

  3. Don't worry,it all has its hv fun now dt u CAN #winks.


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