MR EAZI

MR EAZI
ABOUT TO BLOW MIXTAPE OUT #19JUNE

August 27, 2010

LamBAtells:REINVENTING MY SWAG

Written by One Broken Rose



You see the other day; I was preparing to go out clubbing . . .  Now I hardly have time to leave the office with all the work my bosses put on my desk—like they wait until Friday before they remember they have a presentation the upcoming week! So, while still discussing our weekend plans with my friends, I did a virtual visual snapshot of my wardrobe, looking for what I could wear since NEPA is a huge problem (#Lightupnigeria).
When I finally got back home I went straight to my isale-apoti (bottom-box) and found this designer shirt I hardly wear. I remember it cost me about 2 weeks’ balanced diet—as I had to substitute meat for shaki—when I was in the university. But the shirt was worth all the energy I spent chewing Mama Shakiru’s intestines.
The only problem was I bought it years ago. I hardly ever wore it cuz this shirt was like my prized item. You know the one you bring out when you’re sure your date won’t stand you up. The one you wear when you’re sure the event you’re going for has good lighting and people will see the logo! This shirt of mine caused drama back in the day. I had to do very little with the chics, as the crest on the shirt did the talking. It was one of those shirts that only the ‘clued-up-wealthy’ would know about. Now the shirt still looked presentable but I had to be sure it was still current.
After ironing it, I went online to Google the designer name. I was impressed as lots of links came out. I go show dem tonight! The stupid grin on my face was soon wiped off as I saw most of the lists were from eBay. Now, being an internet wizkid, I decided to go to the designer website. The site was great! Lovely graphics and it did those funky things when you move the mouse over a topic.  But the shirt was nowhere to be found. Not even in the archives. I’ve always liked Wikipedia but on this very day, it added salt to my garri as I soon found out that the company had being bought over by another one sometime in 2005. The stupid shirt (my isale-apoti) which I wore sparingly was outdated. Even the designer don die sef!
The next question that came to my head—Shey awon naija go know?
I sat looking at this shirt wondering if I could risk reinventing old-school swag. Then reality struck. Nigerians are very curious people. They could equally go home and Google the designer and find the same information. The funny part about this whole process was that the ones on eBay were at least current designs. Meaning that this one I just spent like 10 minutes ironing was long gone and forgotten.
Did I stop there? Oti o. Stubborn head! I went into fashion blog sites to see if anybody was wearing this stuff. Then I saw a post that said my so-called designer label was for rich old grandpas who bought Viagra!
The shirt is still ironed and waiting for the day I need a long-sleeved top for anything random . . . like washing my car!

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