Moses had his commandments of course from God; Hippocrates had his oath; but the SACRED code of conduct binding all MEN(women inclusive) has always been unwritten...until now;
THE BOOK OF LamBA; Chaper 1
1.Under no circumstances may 2men share an umbrella.
2.Thou shall not convert thy neighbor's wife/lady...except she's xtremely hot...period!!
3.Unless he murdered some1 in your immediate family, u MUST bail a friend outta jail within 12hrs.
4.If you've known a guy for more than 24hours,his sister is off-limits 4ever, unless u actually marry her (note: not advisable).
5.When queried by a buddy's wife's/girlfriend/mother u shouldn't provide any useful info bout his whereabouts, u are xtremely permitted to deny his very existence.
6.The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another dude who's runnin late is 5mins MAX time:6.5 MINS. For a girl you are required to wait for 10MINS for every point of HOTNESS she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
7.That you bring a camera to a bachelor party, you should be legally killed by fellow partygoers.
8.If a man's zipper is down,that's his problem....you dont see nothing. (NOTE: SAME FOR A LADY).
9.Unless in prison...never fight naked.
10.Unless you have signed a LUCRATIVE endorsement contract, don't appear in public wearing more than 1 NIKE swoosh.
11.When stumblin upon other guyz watchin a sportin event,you may ask the score of the game, but NEVER ask who's playin...NEVER!!
12.If as a guy, you are found to be in the company of a hot,suggestively dressed FEMALE, u must sober enough to fight.
13.If your guy is outnumbered, outmanned or perharps too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. EXCEPTION: If during the past 24hrs his actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass whuppin"...you may stand back and enjoy the show.
14.NEVER...I repeat NEVER join a girlfriend in dissin your guy, except she's withholding SEX pending ur response...
15.The morning after you and a lady u wish to term "just a friend" have drunken-monkey SEX, the fact that you're feelin all weird is no reason not to Nail her again before the discussion of "oh! what a mistake we've made"...capiche!!!
16.Phrases never to be uttered when anotha dude is liftin weights;
- "yeah, baby, push it"
- "C'mon, gimme one more...harder!".
17.Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go longer than you're able to have sex with her. keep a fuckin stopwatch by the phone if possible.
18.Never stop someone you dont know for someone you don't owe.
19.Before allowin your drunken guy cheat on his girlfriend,you must attempt one intervention...just so WE are clear...
20.When receivin oral sex while drivin,always do d followin...
- Wear a fuckin seatbelt.
- Close the SunRoof (very important)...u dont wanna be up like a rocket do you?
- Make sure you smile.
- Never look down...unless that's the last scene you wanna see on earth.
WE have blessed the reading of the WORD...theLaMBA...itz so INCREDIBLE...
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